Insomniac Tirade

Would the Catholic Heritage peeps please go away

2010-01-08T13:16:00.000Z

Since I posted my last blog over a year ago, I have deleted at least 3 comments from the catholic heritage people asking me to link to their blog (www.catholicheritage.blogspot.com). The first time, I ignored them. The second time, I was a bit irritated that they were back for more. The third time, I got shirty and commented on my blog and theirs and sent them an email asking them to leave me and my blog in agnostic peace.

This time I'm properly pissed off. I'm trying very hard to restrain myself and not say what I really want to say. So, for the last time, before I report you to the Blogger Boss as a pestulant pain in the arse, would you people leave me the hell alone? I'm very pleased that you are so proud of your Catholicism and that your faith is so important to you: but it's not that big a deal to me, I don't want to wave my religious colours from the mast and if I had wanted to link to your blog I'd have done it by now.

This is your final warning, before I start googling satanic stuff all over the internet and posting it on your blog... see how you like inappropriate and unsolicited comments yourselves. Now, go away. Thank you.

The family that run together...

2008-10-01T07:49:00.007+01:00

Not sure that I believe it happened, even though I was there and I saw it. Conor ran a half-marathon with me last weekend. Without any proper training. It was a really difficult course but he did it. And he suggested we go back next year and do it again. I think he might be broken!

(Check out the elevation on this!)
Mooathon (half-marathon)
Find more Runs in Donegal, Ireland

I finished in 2:17:56 (an improvement on my last attempt and this was definitely a tougher run), with Conor right behind me on 2:18:01. Yeay us!

Check me out! (again)

2008-08-10T00:36:00.001+01:00

OK, so I tried to embed the map of yesterday's training run directly into a post, but MapMyRun's new mapping tool sucks a bit. They've had some vaguely worded feedback to this effect. Let's see if it actually makes a difference.

Anyway, failing that, here's a link to the map, if you can be bothered to follow it. (Just make sure to change the units back to kilometers - another pain in the arse with the new MmR is that it all defaults to miles.) You'll see how wonderfully well my training is coming on. Not sure if I'm going to be ready for the marathon at the end of October, but the half-marathon in September will be a cake walk!

By the way, can I just mention that running up the Captain's Hill in Leixlip is a bastard - but I beat it!

Check me out!

2008-08-08T21:11:00.002+01:00

Castletown - Intel RB - Captain\'s Hill - Confey - Kellystown - Intel RB - Gates
Find more Runs in Celbridge, Ireland

Y: The Last Man by Brian K. Vaughan and Pia Guerra

2008-07-20T17:51:00.004+01:00

So, in 2002, a mysterious plague wipes out every last mammal on the planet Earth with a Y chromosome. Except Yorick (he's a dude) and Ampersand (his pet monkey). With the joint purpose of finding his girlfriend/fiancée Beth (last heard of somewhere in the Australian outback) and discovering the reason for his immunity to the plague, Yorick joins forces with Agent 355 and Dr Alison Mann, along with a bunch of crazy Amazons, some astronauts, a varied cast of regulars and other villagers and idiots, to entertain us for 9 mighty volumes. Volume 10 is due to be released in a couple of days...

Dr Horrible's Finger Up Hollywood's Ass

2008-07-17T12:19:00.004+01:00

If you haven't seen this yet, go look now. If you want to watch for free, you've only got until midnight on July 20th (I'm not sure what timezone though!). Acts 1 and 2 are currently available and hilarously funny; Act 3 will come on-line on Saturday.

Grrrrrr!
Arrrrggghhhhh!

Global Frequency by Warren Ellis

2008-07-01T17:43:00.001+01:00

A really neat idea, this... One thousand and one ordinary people, linked by the extraordinary Miranda Zero - each one of them an expert at something, and each one of them needed to help save the world in their own way. Highly recommended.

Jack of Fables (vol. 1 and 2) by Bill Willingham

2008-06-25T14:57:00.009+01:00

These stories pick up the tale of Jack, a Fable who having stolen from the Fable-community was banished into the "Mundy" (mundane) world. He's a total dick. Which is probably why he is such a good character. I don't think these are as good as the original stock, but they're entertaning enough so if Con buys anymore of them, I'll read them.

Lucifer (vol. 1 to 11) by Mike Carey

2008-06-20T16:48:00.001+01:00

These volumes pick up the tale of Lucifer Morningstar from when he left his kingdom of Hell in the capable administrative hands of the angels Remiel and Duma (in Neil Gaiman's masterpiece, the Sandman). On the whole, this is fan-freaking-tastic, BUT (and I promise I'm not giving anything away here) given story's trajectory, there is really no other way that it can end and that's a pity. Sometimes, I wish these things could go on forever, but I suppose they wouldn't be as good then. Let's just say that there's no fear of Lucifer jumping the shark, even though he could if he wanted to!

No Raspberry Berets

2008-06-14T19:54:00.002+01:00

Wow, it's been a long time since I blogged! I guess I've been busy. I'm probably going to do some retrospective book reviews - I've read a good few in the past 3 months, although nothing from my 'Coming soon...' list.

Some good news, we got tickets for Monday night's Prince concert in Croke Park. Yeay!
Some bad news, the gig was cancelled last Thursday. Boo!

I'll give a proper update on what's been going on for the past few months later too, when I've more time. Just couldn't leave the blog as it was for another day.

Situated Learning: Legitimate Peripheral Participation by Jean Lave & Eteinne Wenger

2008-05-10T16:40:00.001+01:00

This is an absolutely incredible book. It is really interesting and presents some fairly radical views on the nature of knowledge and learning in an accessible and engaging way. A seminal text in the field of organisational learning and organisational knowledge studies and forming the basis of the concept of 'Communities of Practice', this book has been cited and appropriated as the basis of many others' work - and as is always the case, has also been badly misrepresented and misappropriated at times. Well worth a read though and then you can make up your own mind about how it has been used since.

Fables: 1001 Nights by Bill Willingham

2008-04-30T16:28:00.000+01:00

Snow White is sent to the Caliph's court as Fabletown's emmisary and finds herself having to entertain him in order to keep her head. Scheherazade learns her lessons from the mistress of story-telling...

Fables (vol. 1 to 9) by Bill Willingham

2008-04-25T16:19:00.007+01:00

Fables (vol. 1 to 9) tell the on-going story of the eponymous 'Fables', who escaped from their worlds to ours in order to escape the power-mad Adversary. They have been secretly living amongst us for centuries... They're all here: Snow White, Bigby (Big Bad) Wolf, King Cole, Prince Charming, Sleeping Beauty, Pinocchio, Jack and some that you might have forgotten! Great fun.

Connemarathon - I did it!

2008-04-09T08:05:00.000+01:00

How great am I lads?
I did the half marathon in Connemara on Sunday in the not too shabby time of 2 hours 21 minutes. Granted, I was hoping to do slightly better and finish in about 2.10, but a foot cramp at mile 9 put paid to that plan...
Anyway, yeay me!
Connemarathon (half-marathon)
Find more Runs in Galway, Ireland
I'll be back to do it again next year and hopefully improve on my time. Anyone want to join me??? Connemarathon

The Intellectual and Social Organization of the Sciences by Richard Whitely

2008-03-03T16:15:00.001Z

About as interesting as it sounds, so not very. Unfortunately, I will have to try and wade through this again because I couldn't bring myself to read the whole thing. In the interests of fairness, there will be no star rating until then.

Merde Actually by Stephen Clarke

2008-02-28T16:10:00.001Z

So, it's a good while since I read this. I know that I had tried to read it before and given up (Chapter One was very familiar), which is never a good sign. All in all, not a bad read. Popcorn for the brain. Not as funny as the first one, but not entirely terrible either.

Atomised by Michel Houellebecq

2008-02-21T23:28:00.000Z

This is not something that I have done since I started this reviewing business, but sweet Christ, I could not read this book. I'm sorry. I tried. I kept plodding along with it in the hopes that I'd get into it, but no joy. The story is tragic, even worse, it is hopeless; the protaganists have no redeeming qualities, because their mother has fucked with their heads so badly; the sex is simultaneously prolific, profane and completely devoid of any heart or heat. I suppose that it's a feat to be able to write something so filthy without any eroticism whatsoever. Whatever. It wasn't enough to keep me turning the pages. Maybe I'll give it another go in a year or two... but for now, Houellebecq: nil points.

The Portable Door by Tom Holt

2008-02-01T23:28:00.000Z

OK, so I'll let you in on a secret - the post date is a bit of a lie. I am in the future writing this blog and posting it back to today's date. This is why I can't really tell you much about this book. I enjoyed it. It made me laugh in places. Out loud, on occassion. But that's really all there is to say about it. Nothing so overwhelming that it stayed with me for longer than it took me to decide what to read next, but entertaining enough for what it was.

The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid

2008-01-19T23:54:00.000Z

Kind of an odd tale. Not one that could have been published five years ago, and certainly not one that could have been shortlisted for the Man Booker Prize then. I picked this up to see what it was about, started to read the synopsis on the back and next thing I knew, I'd already finished two chapters. If nothing else, the narrative will keep stringing you along.

The story centres around a young Pakistani man who has lived in the US for several years. He went to university in Princeton and then got a job as an analyst with a prestigious company in New York. He has fallen in love with a beautiful woman and his world seems to be coming together just nicely. Then September 11 happens and everything changes.

Burning Bright by Tracy Chevalier

2008-01-17T22:22:00.000Z

Yet another brilliantly evocative story about ordinary people and their lives as they cross paths with history. Jem and him family move from their small village in Dorsetshire to London and meet Mr William Blake: poet, dissenter, radical and free thinker. Along with his new best friend, Maggie, Jem learns about opposites and what's between them.

Fabulously and meticulously researched with richly drawn and incredibly deep characters, this book reminds me again why I am such a fan of this woman's writing...

Ross O'Carroll Kelly: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nightdress by Paul Howard

2008-01-10T22:24:00.000Z

OK, so this is definitely going to be the last one of these I'll read for a while. I need to read something with a little more weight to it, and we're talking TOTALLY! Still, for what they are, these books have been incredibly entertaining and this one is no different.

Ross's marriage has gone badly wrong, as you might have expected. But he didn't even make it past the reception! (For fock's sake!) He's got a saucepan (lid = kid; it took me a few minutes to figure that one out) from the wrong side of the tracks, but if it'll piss off the old pair (Dick Features and the Wagon) and get him back with Sorcha, Ross will put in the time and get to know little Rohn-nin. Who is seven. And has eyes and ears all over town.

Also, Ross's new career as rugby coach is taking off and so is his old dear. Her clothes, that is. For a charity calendar. Ross is not happy about that...

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly: PS, I Scored the Bridesmaids by Paul Howard

2008-01-04T13:39:00.000Z

Ross is growing up. He's asked Sorcha to, like marry him. He's learning to dance. He's got a wedding list in BTs (of course). Sorcha has turned into a TOTAL bridezilla. A man has to release his tension somehow. But with the bridesmaids? Both of them? And when everything blows up spectacularly, as it has to, it's because of something totally unexpected...

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly: The Orange Mocca-chip Frappuccino Years by Paul Howard

2007-12-28T13:31:00.000Z

Ross is repeating first year for the third time when there's an embarrassing incident in town and his old pair, we're talking Dick Features and the stupid wagon, end up throwing him out of the house. For, like, nothing! Thank God that Fionn let him stay at his flat and JP got his Dad to give him a job and all the guys wanted to buy him beer, or else it might have been really awful. But, is Ross growing a conscience?

The Ladies of Grace Adieu by Suzanna Clarke

2007-12-20T13:19:00.000Z

A book of fairytales, rather than short stories. I was really pleased with myself when I described the book as being like the Brothers Grimm rewritten by a Victorian lady with a wicked sense of humour. I was a bit disappointed to see one of the reviews on the back of the book had described it as being like the Brothers Grimm by Jane Austen, so I wasn't as original as I had thought. Nonetheless, this was an absolutely FABULOUS book. I loved it. Read it.

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly: The Teenage Dirtbag Years by Paul Howard

2007-12-15T13:08:00.000Z

So, roysh, Ross has gone to college on a sports scholarship and he's still, like a total orsehole. More interested in booze and birds than studying. Unfortunately, UCD isn't as understanding as Castlerock College was about that. Anyway, while he's in America on the J1 for the summer, we find out that he slipped one to his best friend's, we're talking Christian's, mom. Will Christian find out? Not as funny as the first book, but still entertaining. Hasn't put me off reading the rest of them either.

After Dark by Haruki Murikami

2007-12-12T23:11:00.000Z

Another weird and wonderful tale about a woman, a man and the people that their lives cross with in one night. As per usual, the story is beautifully crafted, nothing is resolved and yet everything is as it should be. Perhaps that's the key to Murikami's genius? Just like in real life, the loose ends don't get neatly tied away, but there are enough possibilities and potentialities that the story itself is enough and it doesn't need to be neatly boxed away.

I did it!

2007-12-07T13:04:00.000Z

I've been threatening to do it in my head for a couple of days, but today I finally went and did my first 15 km run - that's just under 9 1/2 miles in old money - hooray! I went from Celbridge to Leixlip towards Maynooth and back to Celbridge. That's pretty far in anyone's map!
Castletown/Easton/Ryvale/Carton/Maynooth Road
Find more Runs in Celbridge, Ireland
It took me slightly longer than my target of an hour and a half, but only by 4 minutes, so all in all I'm pretty proud of me.
Can I just mention that it was freezing cold this morning, with a blustery wind (that I was facing into for the whole 6 to 10 km points, which, incidentally, was all uphill.
I'll say it again - hooray! Go me!

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly: the Mis-education Years by Paul Howard

2007-12-04T23:28:00.000Z

Oh! My! God! This book, loike, TOTALLY focking rocked, mon! The worst of it was, that Oi've actually spent the last four, loike, months actually troiying to teach these goys. Oi really, loike, enjoyed the story. It was SO funny. And Oh! My! God!, that Ross O'Carroll-Kelly dude, is loike, the biggest focking orsehole Oi have ever, loike, read.
Enough of the phonetics - you get the picture. Great fun. Would even consider reading the rest of them... High praise indeed!

Does that put the fear of God in you, Gerry?

2007-12-04T23:04:00.000Z

I've been listening to too much radio, with the ad for GiftGrub where Mario whatshishead is ripping off Ben "Does that put the fear of God in you, Jackie Skelly?" Dunne. Anyway, it seemed like an apt opening line.

Gerry has decided that he is going to become the guardian of the physical health of the old Shantallians. He is trying to shame us all into getting into shape to run the Dublin marathon in 2009 and is dangling a crazy money fund before our greedy little eyes as some form of Carrickmacross-carrot.

There are a few problems with his crack-pot scheme. One is that Amo has been involved in athletics for years, is really fit and has already done the marathon (in 3 hours 45 minutes or something equally incredible), so she's pretty much guaranteed the prize, or at least the major share of it. James (aka Jim) is too busy playing happy families and walking the dog. According to Gerry though, James is wavering. Gerry thinks he can get him on board. Another problem is that my husband (or wuss-band as I must now call him, apparently) isn't really interested in engaging with the whole process. The boys may be calling him yellow, but he stands by his woeful tale of shinsplints. Ow.

Suzanne has agreed to participate. So has Amo, but then of course she would, seeing as she's most likely to win. Gerry's got to because it was all his crazy idea. And I'm in. But I've got a sneaky plan.

I'm going to do the marathon in 2008. Ha! Training is in full swing. My first test will be in April when I do the half-marathon in Connemara. I'm reliably informed that it's a demon. The last three miles are all uphill. I figure that if I can manage that, I'll be good for the full jobbie in October.

I'm up to 12.5km, 3 times a week. This week, I'm going to bring it up to 15km, which is three-quarters of the distance of a half-marathon.

Two Caravans by Marina Lewycka

2007-11-29T22:36:00.000Z

Please don't think I'm being facetious when I say that this is a lighthearted tale about the funny side of illegal immigration and human trafficking. It sounds shallow, but that's what the story is about. The story itself is very entertaining: funny in spots and quite sad and poignant in others. But it glosses over some very serious issues (the conditions of illegal workers, selling young women into prostitution, exploitation, etc.). Why bother raising them in the context of the story if you're not planning to make some sort of relevant point about it? All in all, a good read but don't be expecting any serious social commentary. Not as accomplished as A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian, imho.

Oooh! New Hair?

2007-11-23T22:51:00.000Z

So, I got my hair cut off. It was annoying me. Also, since we'd cut David's hair to stop him from eating it, he'd taken to eating mine.
Ursula suggested that I put up before and after pics to showcase my new 'do, which would also go towards bringing up my blog total for the year.

I don't much like getting my photo taken. Not very photogenic, donchaknow. (This is why the only half decent photo of me gets used for everything, cf My Profile.)

So, I did what any sane and normal person would do... I Simpsonised myself! Those good folks at Simpsonize Me, who aren't using the interweb for a shameless marketing ploy on behalf of BurgerKing and the Simpsons movie, gave me a makeover. And here I am:

It's quite a good likeness, I'm told...
And a lot better looking than a photo!

Going metric

2007-11-20T00:24:00.000Z

Further to the whole running thing - I'm really taking it seriously now. I've set myself an actual goal to do the marathon in 2008, rather than the wishy-washy 'maybe someday' line I've taken previously.
I'm trying really hard to go out 3 times a week now (definitely twice) and I'm up to 11 km (I've gone metric, that's around 7 miles in old money) in just over an hour. Sounds great to me!
There's a problem though. The marathon is 42 km (26 miles). At my current pace, I'm looking at a finishing time of 4 hours. That's crap. I'd be embarrassed. I'd probably not admit to doing the marathon at all if that was my time.
I've been running regularly since mid-September and I've been cranking it up every week or two since then but to be honest, I really don't see much of an improvement. I mean obviously I'm increasing my distances, but my pace doesn't seem to be getting any better. If there happens to be someone reading this with some useful tips or advice, please pass 'em on.

Up the ante

2007-11-20T00:06:00.000Z

I was fiddling about with the layout of my blog this evening, rather than summarising an article for my college assignment, like I was supposed to be doing. (Conor, if you're reading this, I was working really, really hard all night and didn't get distracted even for a brief second.)

Anyway, I realised that my bloggage has been very sporadic lately. In fact, I noticed a pattern. In 2004 and 2006, when I was in full-time employment, I blogged quite regularly. About once a week, it appears. In 2005, when I was writing my master's thesis and then on maternity leave, I blogged five times. All year.

I spent most of 2007 on maternity leave also, but with the advent of wireless broadband at home, I have managed to keep the blog rate up to 24 posts (25 when you count this one) so far this year. Strangely, I have only posted 4 times (5 when you count this one) since going back to work and study. I am obviously incredibly busy now. (See, Con?!)

So, here's where the blog entry ties back to the title. Sort of. There are about 6 weeks left in 2007. 40-ish days. I am not going to try and blog every day because that is pointless and boring. But I will bring the total number of blogs up to 40 by the end of 2007. That is 15 more blogs (after this one) this year. I can do that easily if I post twice or three times a week. If I push it to four times (frice?) in each remaining week, I might even come close to matching the good-blog years.

We'll see. No point making it a chore, eh?

Afterall, I am really busy!

A Spot of Bother by Mark Haddon

2007-11-05T14:59:00.000Z

I remember really enjoying The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night (same author for those who don't know), so I was expecting much the same here. And I wasn't disappointed. Funny, disturbing, funnily disturbing and disturbingly funny, sometimes all at the same time. It's great.
George has just retired. He thinks he might have cancer and as if the stress of that isn't enough, his daughter is getting married (again), his son is going to bring his boyfriend to the wedding (what will everyone think?), his wife is having an affair (with a former colleague) and to cap it all, he is having a nervous breakdown of his own.

Running on empty

2007-10-27T21:16:00.000+01:00

I started running again last month and I'm taking it a bit more seriously than I used to. Granted, I'm still not very fast and I don't go terribly far; but I'm paying a lot more attention to how fast and how far I'm not going. Why? I've decided that I want to run the Dublin City Marathon. Not this year (it's on in 2 days, so I've left it a little late to train!) but maybe next? At any rate, it's on my list of things to do before I die (see my50.co.uk).

I was watching a comedy show called Dan & Becs a couple of weeks ago, and Becs was talking about a website called 'mapmyrun.com'. I thought it was part of the joke, but checked it out anyway. Sure enough and lo and behold, there it was. A great way to keep track of all my runs and how quickly I don't do them and how far they're not. It's made me feel so inadequate that I'm pushing myself a bit harder so that I don't look like a total loser if someone happens to look at my profile/runs/training.

So, now I'm almost up to 6 miles, at least 2 mornings per week. It's a start.

A Coffee for the Teacher

2007-10-25T15:06:00.001+01:00

I think one of my students asked me out yesterday. It's been a long time since anyone has asked me out, so I'm not sure if he did or not. In my day, you wouldn't ask (or be asked) in front of other people. Perhaps the fear of rejection outweighed the mild interest in the actual answer?

Anyway, I was helping a group of students work on a web assignment and I suggested that I should start charging for extra tuition, but said that a hot cup of coffee on my desk before the next class would suffice. Then he said: "Forget the coffee, will you come for a drink with me instead?"

I just laughed. "Aha ha ha!" The other students laughed. He laughed. I said "You need to make sure the link is relative, or else it won't work when you put it up on the server", desperately trying to change the subject, or at least get back to safe ground.

Is it really conceited to think that he might have been asking me out? Still, I do hope he wasn't actually serious. Oh God, that would be awkward.

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

2007-10-23T13:18:00.000+01:00

Oh wow! This book was great. Death tells the story of a teenage girl growing up in a small town in Germany in the build up to and the early years of the second World War. There's an accordianist, a Jew in the basement, a boy, a library and a Fuhrer. I won't tell you anything else about this - just say READ IT!

Being a student isn't as much fun as I remember

2007-08-31T21:26:00.000+01:00

So I've been out of work for two weeks. I kinda like it. I'm supposed to have one more week off before I start my PhD and lecturing schtick, but coz I'm such a sad little go-getter, I've signed up to do a seminar course and a consortium next week. I may have slightly underestimated the amount of work I'd have to do to prepare for it.

The result of this was that I spent the last fortnight, allegedly on holidays with my family, ignoring my husband and yelling at my kids to "shut up, mommy's reading", or "be quiet, mommy's working", or just plain "go away and annoy your dad, mommy's busy". I'm not proud of it. I'm just saying, is all.

Anyway, I've 2 days left before the seminar course begins and I've read 10 of the required 16 papers. I also need to meet up with one of the other students and prepare a presentation based on 3 of the papers I haven't read yet. I've also got to read a bunch of research proposals and prepare another presentation based on my own for the consortium. And I still haven't had a chance to review the course material for the lectures I'm supposed to start giving on Monday week...

Busy, busy, busy.

Sick again!

2007-08-16T16:38:00.000+01:00

This is just so bloody typical. I've only been back in work since last Tuesday and I've only got to keep going until Friday and I'm properly sick again. I have the stinkiest throat infection - my third this year! I haven't eaten for two days and I can't even drink water, because it hurts too much to swallow. Also it won't stay down and if I thought it was painful going down, it's way, way worse coming back up! I've lost 7 lbs in the last 3 days. (Normally, I'd be quite pleased about losing 7 lbs, but there's something deeply unhealthy about this particular weight loss, I feel...) The doctor reckons I may need to consider getting my tonsils out. Boo hoo! A double dose of antibiotics has been prescribed. Yuck.

Get well soon to me.

Things to do in work when your brain is dead

2007-08-08T10:39:00.001+01:00

So, I've been back in work for a day and so far I have successfully managed not to actually do anything that could be construed as work.
I have had some serious personal internet time, caught up on lots of emails, played spider solitaire for an hour or so, updated my blog, read other people's blogs...
You might think that I would be very proud of myself for sticking it to the man. But I'm actually having a small crisis of conscience and I am so bored right now that it's not even funny.
I'm about to go for an extended coffee break and then make a serious effort to find out my login ids for various applications and even try to do something constructive for the rest of the day.
Maybe.

Lots of stuff

2007-08-07T10:14:00.000+01:00

I have just come back to work this morning after nine months' maternity leave. It's a bit of a bummer, but I can now finally reveal my news to the world: I've quit my job. I'm going to start a PhD in September and I'll be doing some undergraduate lecturing to keep a bit of cash coming in.

In other news, it was my birthday last weekend (boo-hiss!) and Conor gave me the best birthday present in the world, ever (yeay!). A 1969 MGB GT. Gorgeous! These aren't actually pictures of my car, which is blue, but they look exactly the same. Except for the colour. Which is blue.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling

2007-08-05T15:31:00.000+01:00

So, I read the last Harry Potter book and I will admit that I enjoyed it a great deal. Not to spoil it for anyone, but I had kind of guessed the twist when I read the sixth book. I am a little disappointed in JK though - I think she wussed out at the end. Though I suppose it is really a kids' book...
Anyway, for all you Potter fans out there, I don't think you'll be let down. It's exactly what you would expect. Anyone who doesn't buy into the Potter phenomenon, don't bother reading this, because it's exactly what you would expect.

Pottery

2007-07-22T13:36:00.000+01:00

Well, I didn't quite line up to get a copy at midnight, but I did go to my local Tesco's on Saturday afternoon and buy the latest (and last) Harry Potter book. And I interrupted myself reading 'The Book Thief' to start it. I'm four chapters in and so far, it's just as Pottertastic as any of the other books (take from that whatever you will!) Review to follow...

News still coming...

2007-07-19T21:44:00.000+01:00

Sorry to be such a tease. I haven't got the official confirmation I've been waiting for so I'm still not ready to reveal my new life plan to the huddled masses. It is coming soon though. I promise. (I hope!)

Camping

2007-07-15T23:58:00.000+01:00

I got back yesterday afternoon from a week's camping (yes, camping. In tents. In that weather...) with the Girl Guides. It was an International camp, hosted by IGG (that's the Irish Girl Guides, to the uninitiated) at Tattersalls in Ratoath, Co Meath. We had 25 Guides from Counties Kildare and Dublin and 2 from Singapore.

It was awful. It rained every day. Several times. Except for Friday, when it only rained once. It just didn't stop all day. I spent most of the week damp or wet, with rain running down the back of my neck.

We're currently planning on where to go next year. Iceland or San Francisco, maybe...

Lost Girls by Alan Moore & Melinda Gebbie

2007-07-02T21:49:00.000+01:00

OK, so I read this months ago and never put it up as a review. Why? Well, there's lots of stuff that I read that doesn't get reviewed on my blog: magazines, newspapers, trashy romances, and (apparently) porn. Now, it's not that I'm embarrassed or anything; just that it never really crossed my mind to include this with all the rest of my reading material. Anyway, Con outed me on his blog (in a post not called "My Wife Reads Porn") for reading this and wanted me to post my comments on it, so I figured I go one better.

So, Lost Girls is a three volume boxed set of graphic novel/coffee-table-porn, in which Alice (in Wonderland), Dorothy (not in Kansas anymore) and Wendy (without the Lost Boys) each retell the story their sexual awakenings, with plenty of shagging in a wide variety of positions, locations and partners. It's pretty hornsome in spots too.

There's news coming

2007-06-28T20:37:00.000+01:00

I'm not saying anything yet because nothing is official, but there's some news coming. Big news. It involves work and the rest of my life. Watch this space...

Book Reviews - Amended

2007-06-25T21:03:00.000+01:00

Just in case you're wondering what's happened to my book reviews, I've broken the one big entry into seperate ones for each book I've read. That way, "BOOK REVIEW" will get a massive citation in the label cloud and my favourite authors will also get noted...

Any comments that had been left will stay with the first book review post...

Gamer-scores and Wife-points

2007-06-12T21:55:00.000+01:00

I used to play lots of N64 when I was in college. I was pretty good at Mario Kart and Mario 64 and Wetrix and Bust A Move. Quite enjoyed them too. I was never much good at the shoot 'em ups though. I could never get the hang of the way they worked: couldn't find my way around; couldn't move in a straight line, or around a corner, or through a door, as required; couldn't aim; couldn't shoot; certainly couldn't select, prime and fire a weapon under pressure...

Anyway. I don't play anymore. I skipped the whole PS2 thing and it looked like I was going to similarly avoid Wii and x360.

Until Conor got Kororinpa (Wii) and Hexec (x360). Not that I'm proving a threat to anyone's gamer score or anything, but how much fun are these games??? It's a shoddy truth, but these days I can't wait for the baby to go for his nap, so's I can spend an hour or two playing. My biggest daily dilemma is now which game to play: should I spend an hour on each? Or play them on alternate days? What if the baby wakes up early and I miss out?

Apparently, I was getting a lot of wife-points from Conor's mates for letting him play so much. Does my new-found obsession increase these points or nullify them? Do I care? I'm having too much fun!

The Fourth Bear by Jasper Fforde

2007-06-01T22:06:00.000+01:00

...and Goldilocks ran off into the woods and was never seen again...
Jack Spratt and Mary Mary are called in to investigate to disappearance of Goldilocks and uncover an unlikely conspiracy involving Quang-Tech, SommeWorld, the Gingerbread Man (is he a cake or a biscuit?), Dorian Gray, Virginia Kreeper and extreme cucumbers.

Euro 2007

2007-05-12T22:20:00.000+01:00

How close was that?!
We nearly got null-points.
I wish we had.

What monkey let that tone deaf foundling sing for our country?
She was out of tune and off-key for the whole miserable experience.

At least she didn't make me cringe like the UK entry (or she did, but in a different way). Christ almighty, what was that about?!

The winning song didn't quite capture my imagination like last year's epic Lordi, but you gotta love Serbia's strategy: excellent singing and beauty. The issue was that they couldn't find both in one package, but that wasn't a problem. Enter stage-left, one short-arsed, chubby songstress in a man's suit and runners, with an amazing singing voice and five tall, slender, fabulously attractive women in tailored suits and high-heels, who may or may not be able to sing, but frankly no-one cares. Obvious? Hey, it worked...

The Big Over Easy by Jasper Fforde

2007-03-21T22:00:00.000Z

Who murdered Humpty Dumpty?
Jack Spratt and Mary Mary of the NCD (Nursery Crime Division) investigate suspected fowl play in the death of Reading's most ovoid figure, while trying to fend off the encroachment of Friedland Chimes... one of the greatest literary detectives since Sherlock himself...

QuizFarm revisited

2007-03-09T21:34:00.000Z

Just coz it's Friday night and Con's busy playing with his x360 (on-line live - God bless brodband!), I went to play on QuizFarm.com
'Which religion is right for you?' caught my attention first. Apparently, I ought to be a Satanist!

You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism.

Satanism

79%

agnosticism

75%

Buddhism

75%

Islam

63%

Hinduism

63%

Paganism

54%

atheism

46%

Christianity

42%

Judaism

42%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

Coming as a bit of a surprise to me, I discover that I'm a High School Geek. I didn't think my Nerd credentials rated so highly. Also, I found this quiz a little tricky - should I have answered as if I were still in school, or as if I were in college or as I am now? I made a call and answered as me now - but there were definitely a few throwback questions...

You scored as Geek/Nerd. Haha! ok. go computer geeks!

Geek/Nerd

60%

Loner

53%

Punk

53%

Goth

47%

Emo Kid

40%

Prep

40%

Hot

33%

Jock

33%

Stoner

27%

"Ghetto"

What Highschool Clique Do You Belong To?
created with QuizFarm.com

I tried a couple of other ones too: I'm a Fire Demon; I'm Monica from Friends; and my inner animal is a monkey.

Gold, Silver or Bronze?

2007-03-07T12:36:00.000Z

Back when I was a carefree DINK (double-income-no-kids) I always swore there were certain things I would never do if I ever had children. No soothers, no sleeping in my bed, no talking about nappy contents.

How quickly my notions fell asunder!

So having been fairly warned, read on at your peril. Baby poo is gross. And there appears to be an unending supply of it. It pours from my childs butt like some perverse fountain of stench. Changing nappies is a thankless and pointless task - I'm only going to have to do it again in 20 minutes...

Anyway, I think I've done fairly well to have held onto that particular rant until 3 months into baby #2... and I've also kept it quite tame, so I think I deserve a medal.

Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

2007-03-01T21:58:00.000Z

I loved this. It had just the right measure of fantasy, reality, terror, creepy, weird and wonderful. London will never be the same for me.

So, what have I been doing?

2007-02-28T14:10:00.000Z

OK - I know it's been several months since there's been any insomniac blogger action. I was incredibly busy in work for the last few months before I finished up and went on maternity leave in November.

Baby boy number two was born at 8.26p.m. on Wednesday 29th November. He ended up being an emergency cesarean section and I had to have a general anaesthetic too, which was pretty awful. It took me weeks to get back to some semblence of normality after all that, but now (3 months later!) I actually feel like a human being again and I'm really enjoying being Mommy to my two wonderful boys.

I had my first night out with my husband since the new baby was born this week. I'd always wanted to see Dave Matthews playing live and the fabulous Conor had got tickets to his first ever Irish concert. We went with Gerry and Ursula and had a brilliant night. Mind you, I'm not sure which I enjoyed most - the gig, or having a night out with Con...

Anyhoo - now I've got broadband at home and very little excuse for not blogging more regularly, so I will make more of an effort to stay on-line while I'm not in work.

Wintersmith by Terry Pratchett

2007-02-20T21:56:00.000Z

Yet another installment from the Discworld franchise. And great as always. Tiffany Aching, the Nac Mac Feegle, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg along with the usual cast of villagers and misfits try to get the seasons back on track and battle the Wintersmith.

Smoke & Mirrors by Neil Gaiman

2006-12-29T21:55:00.000Z

Finally, everything I look for in a short story: a start, a middle and a twisty ending, and here's a whole book of them. Thank God for Neil Gaiman. Yeay!

Underground: the Tokyo Gas Attack and the Japanese Psyche by Haruki Murakami

2006-11-10T21:54:00.000Z

An odd and strangely compelling book investigating the effects of the sarin gas attacks on the Toyko underground rail system on contemporary Japanese society. An incredible series of accounts of an incredible day in Japanese history, as told to Murakami by some of the victims, their families and members of the Aum cult who were behind the attacks. Scary and deeply moving stuff.

Arthur & George by Julian Barnes

2006-09-22T21:53:00.000+01:00

An odd story, in which the two protagonists don't actually meet until the third act! I enjoyed this despite myself - nothing happens for ages and even when it does, you just want to slap people. The story is based in fact and was (apparently) meticulously researched, which is reflected in the vivid characterisations. I think this is why I liked it so much - even when nothing is going on, there's something going on...

Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman by Haruki Murakami

2006-09-08T21:51:00.000+01:00

Another book of short stories, this time all by Murakami. As you might expect from a collection of short stories, some are better than others - seeing as they're by Murakami though, they're mostly good. Some are even great. Tony Takitani, for example, is just a classic. Everything I like is there - a coherent beginning, middle and end; a twist; and a gut-punch!

Stuart: A Life Backwards by Alexander Masters

2006-08-20T21:36:00.000+01:00

This book was really disturbing and has stayed with me for months after I finished reading it. For such a little book (less than 200 pages), it took me a long time to read it - mainly because I could only cope with reading a little bit at a time. This is the first biography I have ever read that I enjoyed. Alexander and Stuart were proper friends, which means that Alexander doesn't hold back when talking about how much of an asshole Stuart could be, and also how great he was. Stuart's story broke my heart and while I can't wholeheartedly recommend that you read this (you would definitely need to be in the full of your health), I would say that if you do, it will haunt you.

Birthday Blues

2006-08-16T15:40:00.000+01:00

Oh God.
I'm thirty.

I spent most of the week before last being horribly depressed in the lead up to my birthday, and much of the time since has been spent recovering my usual joie de vivre.

This exchange is the only type of support that I could expect from my friends:

Gerry: Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, happry Birthday dear Penfold, Happy Birthday to you!
Or it may be tomorrow. But have a good one anyway Mrs Murnane. So is there a big party for your, em, yeah, em, 29th, Yes, 29 is a safe number.
Many more of them
G

Me: The depression has been settling on my shoulders for the past couple of weeks... I'm 29. Until Thursday. When I'll be upgraded to 29v2.1 [Sob]

Gerry: Ah to be young. Oh, wait, I am. Unlike you old people. Face it, you're like windows 3.11, outdated.

Me: (to Conor) This guy is supposed to be my friend...

Conor: I think you are taking this thirty thing too seriously. It only symbolises the end of your young life.

Gah! See what I'm up against? You had started so well, Gerry! Never mind - you'll get yours! And you Con - I was sorely mistaken for thinking that you might have had a little sympathy - O aged one!

The 5th Horseman by James Patterson and Maxine Paetro

2006-07-22T21:35:00.000+01:00

A desperate airport thriller. Really, don't bother reading this.

Going on hols

2006-07-10T15:35:00.000+01:00

I cannot wait for this time Wednesday evening, because then it will be the longest possible time before I have to go back to work. That's right, I'm going on holidays. Yeay!!
I'm off to Adelboden (near Interlaken, near Bern) in Switzerland with a group of Girl Guides - 18 aged 11 to 15, 8 aged 16 to 21 and 7 of us golden oldies. (I'm so depressed that I get counted with the golden oldies. I'm too young for that!) We'll be staying in a chalet that's tucked into a side-valley, half-way up the Alps.
There's loads of stuff planned, like abseiling and whitewater rafting but due to the fact that I'm infanticipating, I'll be restricting myself to the hikes and (hopefully!) a daily swim. There's plenty of walking to be done, seeing as the coach can't actually get to the chalet (the road is too narrow and steep!), so I'll be trekking up and down the gorge on a daily basis - with full kit and rucksack on at least two occasions. Hence, I am packing more lightly than I have ever done in my entire life!
We'll be going to a Cheese Maker (blessed are!) and a Wood Carver and Our Chalet, (which is one of the Guiding World Centres for those of you who don't know and are interested). I'm hoping to bring home some decent cheese for Conor, some wood carvings for me and if I can find it in one of the tourist shops, a pair of mini-lederhosen, preferably complete with a little hat with a feather in it, for David. If I'm really lucky, there'll be a grown-up sized pair and I'll bring them home for Conor! Imagine that photo on the Internet. Cute, not creepy...
I may not get a chance to blog again before I go away (mad busy in work, will actually have to do stuff before I leave) and I'm not sure whether it will be possible to get on-line while I'm away. Anyway, I'll post pics and news when I get back.

Yodel-ay-he-hooo!

His Dark Materials: The Amber Spyglass by Phillip Pullman

2006-07-07T21:32:00.000+01:00

Wow. Nothing is as it seemed at the start of this trilogy. The characters are so ambiguous, the themes are so much more than you'd expect from books that are marketed towards children. I won't go into any details about this for fear of giving anything away.

These books, and particularly this last one, blew me away. Highly recommended.

I am so pissed off with work right now...

2006-07-05T14:31:00.000+01:00

... so I've decided that I'm not going to do anything today.

I'm pissed off today because I had a conversation with one of the senior managers this morning about being able to apply for personal promotion this year. The rule is that you've got to be 3 years at the top of your scale in order to be eligible for promotion. I was off-scale from 1 January 2001 to 31 December 2005 and I haven't had a pay review since 1 January 2003. On-scale increments are applied in October of each year, but because of how my contract was set up, my pay reviews were conducted in January. On 1 January this year, I was put on the top of the SEA scale and told that my years at the top of my off-scale range would count for promotion purposes. Then when they were looking for the list of eligible staff, they asked for people who were 3 years on top of scale since 1 October 2002. So they're trying to argue that I'm not eligible.

Bastards.

I'm saying that the rule states 3 years at top of scale, which I have. People who are on-scale will still only be showing up if they've been on the top point since 2002. I think the manager dude is trying to come up with a work around so that I'll be able to go for it.

Still, I'm so angry about it that I haven't really done any work at all today and I don't think I'm going to either.

Fuck'em

Time for a change

2006-07-04T08:23:00.000+01:00

So I finally got my act together this morning and selected the new CDs that are (currently) being ripped onto my mp3 player.
It's "Adieu and Farewell", but not "Goodbye" to Snow Patrol's Final Straw and Eyes Open, Bell X1's Flock and Counting Crows' This Desert Life.
I'm going back to some old favourites with (in chronological order) Radiohead's The Bends, Smashing Pumpkins' Adore and Arcade Fire's Funeral. I'll also add some gentle pop-tastic fun with Goo Goo Dolls' Dizzy Up the Girl. If there's room after that little lot, I might stick on the Arcade Fire EP too.

His Dark Materials: The Subtle Knife by Phillip Pullman

2006-07-03T21:28:00.000+01:00

The second book in the series: Will stepped through a window in the air, to find himself in the frightening world of Cittágazze. There he meets Lyra and the two must find Will's father while avoiding the blood-thirsty children and soul-eating Spectres that haunt their new world.

His Dark Materials: Northern Lights by Phillip Pullman

2006-06-30T21:27:00.000+01:00

The first book in the series. Set in an alternate world, Lyra and her daemon find themselves on a quest to the North with the gyptians to rescue all the children that the Gobblers have stolen. While she's about it, she also wants to rescue her father from the panserborne, find the city in the Aurora and discover the secret of the Dust. This is one of the most complex, well-written children's books I have ever read.

The Mistress of Spices by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni

2006-06-23T21:24:00.000+01:00

Tilo has been many things. Now she's a Mistress of Spices in Oakland, California. The rules of the spices are strict and their punishment harsh. But in using the spices to help others, she finds herself becoming embroiled in their lives and unable to keep her distance. She also can't resist getting involved with a lonely American, breaking the spices greatest taboo, and finally sealing her fate.

Pregnoramus

2006-06-23T10:35:00.001+01:00

I feel like Lisa Simpson when she couldn't solve the brain teaser.

It's a clinically proven fact that a woman's brain physically shrinks in size when she is pregnant. I'm not entirely sure why. It could be something to do with hormones, fluid retention, or anything. I remember discussing this with my ob/gyn during my last pregnancy. It struck me as being rather unfortunate timing as I was in the middle of writing my thesis at the time. He seemed to think it was funny, particularly when he pointed out (rather unsympathetically, I thought) that there had been no research conducted to investigate whether a woman's brain returns to its substantive size post-pregnancy.

Well, I am currently conducting just such an investigation, based entirely on my own narrow experience. Preliminary results indicate that there must be some corrosion of brain size (and possibly brain function) with each subsequent pregnancy. It seems to be a similar (though opposite) process to post-pregnancy weight issues. (Apparently, whatever weight a woman manages to get down to when she falls pregnant again is the lowest weight that she will be able to reach after that pregnancy. Depressing, huh?)

Anyway. I had an appointment with my ob/gyn yesterday and before I left the house in the morning, I made doubly sure that I had my cheque book so that I could pay more of the fee. (I don't normally carry it around with me, so I had to go and get it.) I had my scan and my appointment and when I was making my next appointment, I started searching for the cheque book. No sign of it. I took everything out of my bag. I started to freak out slightly. I left the clinic. I sat on a park bench and ransacked every nook and cranny of my handbag. No cheque book.

'Oh Christ! I've lost it. This bloody handbag, I'm always dropping things and losing things out of it. I'll have to buy a new one. And cancel the bloody cheque book...'

I got home in the afternoon and checked the kitchen and the sitting room. I picked David up from the creche and checked that I hadn't left it in his bag or underneath the buggy. I was waiting for Conor to get home so I could check the floor of the car. And then, when I had given up hope and was pootling around looking for something else, I found it. In the spot where it's normally kept. Having purposely gone to get it and put it in my bag, I had then put it back in its place, without having any recollection of doing so. I still don't remember putting it back.

My brain is shrinking.

Beyond Black by Hilary Mantel

2006-06-16T21:23:00.000+01:00

Alison is a psychic who had a horrific childhood and now she's haunted by the ghosts of the men who made her childhood so awful. She's also got a weight problem and a live-in business partner, who is incredibly bitter and makes horrible comments to her all the time. The book is really well written: poignant, cruel and even funny at times. On one level, it deserves far more than its two star rating but I just found it so unrelentingly grim and creepy (and not because of the ghosties) that I can't bring myself to recommend that anyone read it.

Damn you, Dave Matthews...

2006-06-12T15:42:00.000+01:00

I tried. I really tried. I listened to the new album ('Stand Up') several times before I removed it from my mp3 player. I wouldn't allow myself to skip through it when it cycled round again. I gave it every chance. More chances than it probably deserved. To be honest, I thought that I was even coming around to it. Maybe I had just become inured...

The upshot is that in the days following the removal of 'Stand Up' from my mp3 player, I'm finding it difficult to listen to 'Some Devil', a here-to-fore favourite.

Damn you, Dave Matthews! Damn you!

A Short History of Tractors in Ukranian by Marina Lewycka

2006-06-09T21:22:00.000+01:00

Two feuding sisters try to put aside their differences as they attempt to extricate their émigré father from his unfortunate marriage to the gold-digging (and immigration-dodging) Valentina. There was the promise of many family skeletons tumbling out of the closet, but this didn't deliver in quite the way I'd expected. An entertaining tale, none-the-less. My sympathies definitely lay with the sisters - caught between exasperation at an old man's foolishness and feeling so sorry for him because of the situation his idiocy landed him in. Valentina was by far the best character - worth reading this book for her alone!

Birthday Stories selected by Haruki Murakami

2006-06-01T21:21:00.000+01:00

Twelve birthday-related short stories by twelve different authors.
I enjoyed this book more than the 3-star rating would imply but I have a bit of an issue with short stories. You see, I'm a greedy reader - so I like short stories because I can guzzle them down quickly, several in one sitting. Unfortunately, this means that I don't give myself the time to digest each story on its own merits, so they all end up being a big messy blur. Also, I find that short stories tend to leave me feeling a little bit dim: I'm sure that there's a meaningful message tied up in the story and I just don't get it.
So, my own feelings of inadequacy aside, not one of these stories is about a 'Happy Birthday'. The strange tenor of each tale juxtaposed against the pre-supposed happiness of their settings left me in an oddly dissatisfied and slightly depressed mood. Maybe I did get it after all?

Eating Out Ireland

2006-05-30T09:13:00.000+01:00

Well, I've been invited to post to this new blog, which has everything to do with eating in restaurants around the country and absolutely nothing to do with one deviant mind's sexual proclivities/promiscuities (I'm talking to that commentor on Gerry's blog - you know who you are!) Mind you, he might have a point. Perhaps I'll advocate the judicious use of a comma or a colon?

Eating Out: Ireland or Eating Out, Ireland?

Anyway, check it out. You never know - Egon Ronay could come to us for advice some day!

The Best Thing That Can Happen to a Croissant by Pablo Tusset

2006-05-26T21:43:00.000+01:00

DBC Pierre was a bit misleading in his write up. Pablo has his own personal standards of Integrity, develops a personal hygiene fetish, smokes his joints with (not before) his breakfast and only pleasured himself in the sink of his local bar to get the best value from a prostitute once. He isn't much for political correctness though. That bit was accurate.

That said, I've really enjoyed reading this. The translation strikes me as being a little ropey in spots and they could have done with a better proof-reader, but I won't hold that against them.

Loosely, the plot runs along the lines of "loser little brother accidentally and unwillingly takes a journey of self-discovery and comes good". There were some very funny moments that made me laugh out loud too. It reminded me a little bit of a book called The Memory of Running by Ron McLarty. Also well worth a read.

Androgyny-smodgyny

2006-05-26T14:16:00.000+01:00

For want of something better to do just after lunchtime this Friday afternoon, I wandered over to those lovely people at QuizFarm, and filled me in a couple of quizzes. According to the 'Should you be MALE or FEMALE?' quiz, I am 'Either'. I won't let this get me down though, because I also get to ride the brains out of Cedric Diggory, if I believe the 'Who are you screwing at Hogwarts?' quiz.

You scored as Either (68%). You brain is neither specifically male nor female dominated in the way you perceive things and as bad as this sounds it can easily mean that you are capable of combining both limiting gender aspects to your advantage. Rather than being genderless you are possibly able think freely. This does not nec. mean that you are bisexual or androgynous or indecisive, though it might.

Should you be MALE or FEMALE?*
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Cedric Diggory (95%). If you went to Hogwarts you would be the lucky girl fucking Cedric Diggory! Congratulations! Popular, good looking, and a hell of an athlete. All he had to do was look at you and you were on your bakck! MMMMM I bet that sex is golden! Too bad he dies... Oh well, enjoy that fine piece of man while he lasts.. Go ahead girl, go head get down...

WHO ARE YOU SCREWING AT HOGWARTS??
created with QuizFarm.com

Insomniac ShitList: Bad Habits

2006-05-24T09:00:00.000+01:00

(Needless to say, I don't do any of the things listed below!)

Item Seven (added 24 May 2006)
Spitting.
Can you not see how disgusting this is? Why do you persist in hawking up great phlegm wads and firing them at high speed from your mouth to the ground, hopefully (I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here, though you hardly deserve it) without being intercepted by any passing pedestrian or one of their personal belongings?
Then there's the big slippery green ooze that looks like someone trod on a slug and left it on the pavement for random pedestrians to stand on, walk through or unwittingly place their bags in. Uuugghhhhh.
The worst offenders here seem to be nasty little chavs, neddies and scrotes (who, it could be argued, will never know better) and fully grown men, often of Asian or Eastern European extraction (who should). Yuck. You all make me sick.
(I notice that I listed Spitting on the ShitList in October 2004 - Item 3 below - but obviously, it still pisses me off to such an extent that I had to list it twice. Double Shit.)

Item Six (added 18 October 2004)
Mainly women guilty of this as far as my observations go - failure to lift one's feet properly when walking and so being followed by an incredibly irritating shuffle noise.
How does it not drive you mental? It makes me crazy, and you're just walking past me. It must be murder on the heels and soles of your shoes. If this is happening because you're wearing very loose slip-ons, flip-flops or sandals, then you're either committing an unforgivable fashion faux pas, you think you're on a beach, or you just can't walk properly, you moron. Whatever else, it certainly does not give you the air of disaffected cool that you are striving for

Item Five (added 15 October 2004)
Bad table manners. This comes under two sub-headings:

5.1: Talking with your mouth full
To para-phrase a famous adage, "If you had any respect for anyone within spitting distance, you'd swallow that". Semi-masticated food is not attractive; nor are your teeth, gums or tounge while you eat. Swallow, then speak

5.2: Use your knife and fork properly
This is a really pedantic thing, I know; but it drives me batty to see people holding their cutlery in their balled-up fists. Knives and forks were invented a long time ago and used by the aristocracy to distinguish themselves from commoners, peasants and animals. These class distinctions are largely ignored by our society these days and pretty much anyone with opposable thumbs is expected to use a knife and fork. Please don't get them mixed up with shovels and other garden implements. They are delicate instruments and should be used as such. Otherwise, we'd all be much happier if you'd just go back to bending your head to the trough and ripping your food apart with your hands

Item Four (added 15 October 2004)
Littering. Oh God, is there no end to the filth you people want to make me deal with? I get especially irritated with people who don't correct their children for dropping their rubbish on the street - you will have your turn against the wall when I am in charge... You and your heathen spawn

Item Three (added 15 October 2004)
Spitting in the street. This is a bit of a double whammy as a good proper street-spit is invariably preceeded by a loud hawking noise. See Item One above for my views on this

Item Two (added 15 October 2004)
Coughing or sneezing without covering your mouth. Uuggghhhhh. I would never have had unprotected sex with a complete stranger (or any sex with a complete stranger), so what makes you think that I would like you to share any of your bodily fluids with me?

Item One (added 15 October 2004)
Loud Snuffling. Please use a tissue and blow your nose. I particularly despise those great big hawking snuffles that are invariably followed by a swallowing noise (often with some chewing in between). I can feel my stomach turning over just thinking about it

Another Announcement

2006-05-23T09:20:00.000+01:00

Last week, I had my first scan. All is well. Due at the end of November. Too early to tell if it's a boy or a girl. I don't know if I want to find out though. I think I probably won't this time. It'll be nice to keep something as a surprise!

Oh Lordi

2006-05-23T08:53:00.000+01:00

I am a big fan of Eurovision. Huge!
I love everything about it. How kitch it is, how twee, the block voting, bitching about the various entrants.

2006 was a bumper year.
There was Germany - an incredibly sappy (and very un-German-esque) Country number;

There was Turkey - a fairly chunky forty-something, who had beaten herself into a sequined ice-skater's costume that revealed her less than attractive tatoos, surrounded by some aggressively heterosexual (not!) male dancers (who could dance really well - as only aggressively heterosexual men can't);

There was Ireland - at least this year we didn't shame ourselves with traveller-boy or the incestous McCalls. But what a dreadful dirge! 'Every Song is a Cry for Love', indeed! What about 'Smack My Bitch Up', or 'Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter'? 'This Song is a Cry for Help!' more like!

There was the Ukraine - who went back to their Svetlana-roots and fielded a Shakira-sound-alike (I was surprised that this didn't do better!)

And of course, there was Finland. This year's winner. And what a performance!

I watched these guys in the Semi-Final with my jaw hitting the floor. I voted for them on the night of the Final. I cheered every time they scored a 'douze points' and hissed whenever they appeared on the 1-7 board.

Well done boys (and girl). The Orcs have finally come good!

I can only wait with baited breath to see what Europe will send to compete with itself next year!

To That Guy on the Bus Yesterday

2006-05-17T15:34:00.000+01:00

We had a long talk, you and I. I won the argument and everyone on the bus thought I was great and you were an arse.

Actually, no-one said a word to you but everyone still thought you were an arse.

You got on the bus in Lucan and sat 3 rows behind me on the other side of the aisle. I was listening to my mp3 player and I could still hear every tortuous screech of guitars and crash of drums emanating from your deafened-by-death-metal ear phones.

I hate you.

In my head, I very calmly asked if you would mind please turning down your volume. In my head, you said "Fuck off, you fat bitch."
In my head, I replied "I'm pregnant. Is your problem glandular?"
In my head, you sheepishly turned down your volume. There may have been an apology.

In fact no-one said anything and we all sat and silently fumed and wished that you could at least have had decent taste in music.

New Music: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

2006-05-17T08:44:00.000+01:00

I got myself some new albums recently and I held high hopes for them all: Snow Patrol's Eyes Open, Bell X1's Flock and the Dave Matthews Band's Stand Up.

So, what did I think? Well:

Snow Patrol: Trying to follow the success of Final Straw couldn't have been easy. There was a lot riding on this album for them. I think I was also predisposed to not like this because the lead-singer-guy fired the bassist-guy (also the last remaining original member of the band) when Final Straw hit the big time because of "creative differences". Anyway. Whatever. Eyes Open kicks ass. It's brilliant and I love it. There's enough similarities to Final Straw to show that they know what's good about the band and what people like about them and their music, but enough differences so that you get the feeling they've moved on and grown up a bit and you're definitely not listening to the same album.
Favourite Song: Set The Fire To The Third Bar
Notable Others: Make This Go On Forever
One minor point of grumble (and this holds for Final Straw too) is that it sounds like desperate hard work to be lead-singer/songwriter-guy's girlfriend. I mean really, could you be bothered dealing with all that angst on a daily basis???

Bell X1: I'm definitely predisposed to liking these guys because they come from the same town/area that I grew up in. I really enjoyed their earlier album Music In Mouth, which Conor had given me for Christmas. I listened to it to within an inch of its little CD-life. So I bought their follow-up and widely critically acclaimed album Flock. Now, it's not that I don't like it: I do, just not as much as Music In Mouth.
Favourite Song: Bad Skin Day
I'm giving it plenty of opportunity to grow on me and it's not like I skip through any of the songs and I think that a bit of saturation therapy will soon have Flock taking its place in my heart beside its older brother.

Dave Matthews Band: What can I say? I have stacks of their albums and I love all of them for different reasons. In general, I prefer their more recent material to their older stuff - that's all a bit jazzy or something - but it's all good. I was especially taken with their Some Devil album, which has had pride of place on my mp3 player since I got it. I was really looking forward to Stand Up. So much so that I was trying to talk Conor into going to Canada next month to see DMB play in concert. What a disappointment. I will keep trying. I will give it a chance to grow on me. Currently, I do not hold out much hope.
Favourite Song: n/a
Notable Others: n/a

Strange Dreams

2006-05-17T08:39:00.000+01:00

I've been having really odd dreams lately and some of them have been kind of creepy too. I don't like that. Not nightmares exactly, but they still leave you with an icky disturbed feeling when you wake up.

Anyway, I had a really wierd one this morning and I don't know why, but I've decided to share it with my reader. I dreamt that Michael Jackson needed the cash (to pay his lawyers?) and so decided to sell the rights to a previously unreleased Beatles medley. Whoever bought it paid $40 bazillion and then let the radio stations play it for free.

It was only when I woke up that I realised the songs in the medley were all Michael Jackson songs.

Something Rotten by Jasper Fforde

2006-05-16T21:18:00.000+01:00

Thursday Next has left BookWorld with her son (Friday) and returned to the RealWorld to live with her Mum (Wednesday). Will she be able to ensure that the Swindon Mallets win the Croquet Superhoop, thereby stopping Chancellor Yorrick Kaine, the fictional megalomaniac, from becoming the Dictator of England, put a halt to the gallop of the evil Goliath corporation, avert a war with Denmark and prevent the Earth from turning into a mouldering radioactive cinder a week from next Tuesday? While she's about it, she needs to keep the BookWorld ticking over, find a Shakespere, smuggle Danish books into Wales, avoid a very determined assassin and reactualise her husband. All in a day's work.

The Heimlich for Babies

2006-05-15T12:24:00.000+01:00

I went into the weekend aged 29 and I arrived into work this morning, a haggard and care worn 40-something. I now have my first grey hairs and am walking with a distict stoop.

Why? Well, because we had a small stone-swallowing-and-choking episode yesterday, with a certain one-year-old who ought to know better than try to kill himself through maternal neglect at his paternal grandmother's house! (Talk about showing you up in front of the in-laws!!!)

Thank Christ, I knew how to do the baby-heimlich (i.e. Don't!) and got him to vomit it up pretty quick smart but scary, or what! I swear I lost half a stone from the shaking afterwards. And what was it about a nasty hard little grey pebble that looked so appetising?

I dunno. Anyway, all's well that ends well. I sent my child to his creche this morning clothed in bubble-wrap, with some well placed air-holes but nowhere for him to get a stone into his mouth... I'm a responsible mother, me!

If I were..., I'd fire...

2006-05-10T11:15:00.000+01:00

I've stolen the idea for this blog from Conor. I'll at least have the decency to cite his suggestions, so there isn't any actual plagarism! Con, if you're really miffed about this, I'll take it down and you can have it for your blog.

If I were Victoria Beckham, I'd fire my husband's PA
If I were Sylvester Stallone's mother, I'd fire my plastic surgeon
If I were Han Solo, I'd fire first (con)
If I were the Emperor, I'd fire my architects (con)
If I were Russell Crowe, I'd fire my anger management therapist
If I were an Taoiseach, I'd fire my Minister for Justice for being an arse
If I were found guilty of a crime I didn't commit, I'd fire my lawyer. In fact
If I were found guilty, I'd fire my lawyer
If I were the Centre de George Pompidou, I'd fire my buiding contractor for not finishing the job
If I were managed by Louis Walsh, I'd fire my manager

More to follow as I think of them...
Feel free to add some into the Comments either...

The Well of Lost Plots by Jasper Fforde

2006-05-05T21:17:00.000+01:00

It's big, it's clever and it makes me laugh. Thursday Next is pregnant with her non-existant husband's child and has taken refuge from the evil little sister of her vanquished arch-nemesis in the Well of Lost Plots. As if that's not enough for her to deal with, she must also avoid being murdered by a renegade JurisFiction agent, while all around her are popping off like flies. Who is behind the dastardly plot that threatens the Well of Lost Plots and the rest of BookWorld? How far does the corruption extend? Read on to find out...

A nice piece of chocolate

2006-05-04T10:55:00.000+01:00

I was just at tea with some girls in work and we were talking about the TV show 'Trading Spouses' - an American version of 'Wife Swap'. Last night, the wife from an orthodox Jewish family was swapped with the wife from a Born Again Christian family. I'm sorry I missed it - you gotta think it would have been like watching a car wreck!

Anyway, the BAC woman was explaining to the three Jewish teenage daughters why they should abstain from pre-marital sex. She used a piece of chocolate as an illustration. She mooshed it up and squished it down and mauled it and passed it on to the first daughter. D1 mooshed, squished and mauled it before passing it to D2, who mooshed, squished and mauled it before passing it to D3, who also mooshed, squished and mauled it and then handed it back to BAC woman. She mooshed, squished and mauled it some more. So all in all, it was a fairly manky piece of chocolate by the time it had gone around. Then BAC woman took out a fresh piece of chocolate.

"This," she said, holding the manky chocolate, "is what you'd be like if you've been passed around. But this," triumphantly holding aloft the pristine piece, "is what you'd be giving your husband if you saved yourself for him!"

After hearing all that, boy am I glad that I kept a nice piece of chocolate for Con!

Potential for change

2006-05-04T08:43:00.000+01:00

I've worked in one capacity or another for UCD Personnel for nearly 8 years - since I finished my undergraduate degree, in fact. That's a long time. From where I sit, it looks scary on the outside.

I just got a new job. In DIT, so sticking with the 3rd level educational institution vibe. In HR, so not much change there. Doing IT implementations of HR systems, so in fact, no change at all. The salary wasn't even much better - certainly not enough to warrant giving up flexi-time and the massive amount of leave I get in UCD (20 days' annual leave, 10 days at Christmas and up to 13 days' flexi-leave per annum - that's 43 days folks!)

Anyway, I'm not taking the job in DIT. It was only a contract to the end of December anyway. Why would I give up a permanent and pensionable job to take a short term contract when I'll be going on maternity leave in November?

How to earn Brownie Points from your wife

2006-04-28T09:06:00.000+01:00

Go to dinner with her and one of her crazy friends. And I'm not talking nice-crazy here. I mean full-on damaged-goods-chip-on-her-shoulder-that-comes-with-its-own-dip-loud-abrasive-argumentative-angry-crazy.

And don't complain about it. Not even once. In fact, mention the next morning (through gritted teeth and a hang-over) what a good time you had the night before.

Thanks Con! You are genuinely the best person in the world. Smoochies. Massive brownie pointage for you this weekend.

Famous Captains

2006-04-27T08:35:00.000+01:00

Captain Nemo
Captain Scarlet
Captain Ahab
Captain Hook
Captain Bligh
Captain America
Captain Buck Rogers (biddy-biddy)
Captain Sensible
Captain of my Heart

Captain Sinéad?

Yes, I've been asked to take over as Captain of my Guide Company. Well, one of the other leaders, Emma, and I have been asked to decide between ourselves which one of us will take on the role in September when the current Captain retires. (She's only been doing the job since 1978, so no pressure!)

Anyway, Emma's been there longer than I have, so I reckon that if she wants it, she should get it. Emma reckons that I should take it. I'm not fully sure why.

Meanwhile, I'm just trying it on for size. Any other famous captains out there that I've overlooked?

A Year in the Merde by Stephen Clarke

2006-04-25T21:15:00.000+01:00

An almost sterotypically British Englishman goes to live in Paris and is met with a very stereotypically French reaction.
Some of it is a bit hit-and-miss, but some of it makes me laugh out loud. On the bus.

I can't believe it's been a year already

2006-04-25T09:09:00.000+01:00

I'm a bit late with this reportage, but can you believe that David is already a year old?
No, really, he is. He's nearly walking, chats and sings away to himself and is currently cutting his fifth tooth (yes, he's a bit of a late developer on the dental front!), which has made for some incredibly unsettled nights' sleep for Conor and I over the past couple of weeks.
(cf: Con's blog)

Anyhoo, better late than never, check out how cute my li'l boy is!

Miss Garnet's Angel by Sally Vickers

2006-04-23T21:13:00.000+01:00

A curmudgeonly old bird's friend dies, so she goes to Venice and realises that she's a curmudgeonly old bird. Beautiful story, beautifully told. Made me want to go back to Venice to see all the bits that I missed.

Reading Lists - for posterity

2006-04-21T14:00:00.000+01:00

How this works
Why didn't I think of doing this before? I certainly read enough to make it a regular feature... From now on, there will be a note in the side panel about what I'm reading at the moment. Once I've finished it, I will move it to this main listing.

I have an owwiee (another one)

2006-04-10T08:36:00.000+01:00

Well, I did it. Yesterday, along with 7,499 other gluttons for punishment, I ran the Great Bupa Ireland 10k Fun Run in the Phoenix Park in Dublin. It was also David's first birthday. But mostly, I ran 10k.

Granted, it was the first time in 3 or 4 years that I'd done the full 10k but to be honest, I was a little disappointed with my time of 1 hour 2 minutes. That already takes into account the time lapse between the starting gun and my crossing the starting line. Congratulations to my pal Ann Marie Brooks who finished it in 47 minutes - there's a time to be proud of. Gerry Gainford didn't start. So, even though I went more than 15 minutes over my target, I still beat Gerry. Go me!

I was also a little horrified by how shattered I was for the rest of the evening. After we got home, I lay in a hot bath for ages and then just vegged out on the sofa until I crawled back up the stairs to my bed at 9 o'clock.

Anyway, it was a great day and I really enjoyed it. Conor and David came out to cheer me on. My friend Aiveen and I ran nearly the whole course together until I had to take a break between 7 and 8km. I almost caught her back up at the end though, finishing just a minute behind her.

I got a bit emotional towards the end as I turned onto the home straight - just 600m to go - and I looked at my watch. It was 2.30 pm... a year to the minute when my beautiful brand new baby was handed to me and I remembered the feeling that I could do anything in the world that I wanted to. So I straightened up and dragged every last bit of my energy up from the ends of my hair to my toenails and I ran those last 500m (it took me 100m to gather my energy!)

My legs hurt today.

There was something on my mind...

2006-04-05T12:24:00.000+01:00

There was something that I thought of this morning and it was accompanied by dinging klaxons, whirling lights and a little man dressed as a ringmaster that all yelled: "BLOG IT!"

I can't remember now what it was, but at least I did remember to blog it!

Dib-dib-dib

2006-04-04T08:50:00.000+01:00

While I was growing up I was a Girl Guide (and quite a good one too - good in the sense that I got loads of badges, knew first aid, was able to tie knots, had plenty of practice building outdoor fires and cooking on them and could build a bridge or an overnight shelter with a piece of 4x4, a couple of branches and a length of twine, that is; not good in the sense of being, well, good.) Anyway, between the jigs and the reels, I left Guiding far behind me when I went to University (because, even though I wasn't good per se, the two lifestyles are very different!)

Last year, I moved back to the town where I grew up. One Wednesday afternoon in September, I was out walking and I met up with my old Guide Captain, who lives very close to where I do now. We were chatting away and I asked her if Guides was still going.

The long and the short of it - from that day on, I have been a Guide Leader. I'm back at my old company, working with a great bunch of girls (most of whom weren't even born when I left Guides). I got my warrant a couple of weeks ago - a nice shiny badge! - and I've just been on my first camp away in almost 15 years! (It was indoors - it's still far too bloody cold to camp out.)