Insomniac ShitList: Public Transport

Item Six (added 9 November 2004)
This could go under so many headings that it really was a tough choice...
You bastards who smoke on the bus really give me a pain in my tits. This morning there were two of you and you were incredibly abusive to the man who asked you if you really couldn't wait the few minutes till you got off the bus before you lit up. Then one of you filthy scrotes started to blow your cigarette smoke over me. When I asked you to please not, I suppose I should give you the credit that's due because you stopped (blowing smoke over me, not smoking). But then you both proceeded to have a loud conversation about how the abused man and I would never last on the #38 bus if we were so offended by a little bit of smoking.
This begged the question, Why didn't you just take the damn #38 this morning then, you morons? Then you'd have been able to share some needles to shoot up your early morning heroin, died of an overdose and everyone would have been happy...

Item Five (added 15 October 2004)
It was on my list, but I'm very glad to see that it's not just me who finds this unbearable. People, turn your walkman down. I don't need to hear your music. I don't want to hear your music. Mostly, I hate your music. If I'm listening to my walkman, I don't want to still be able to hear yours. Ditto, for when I'm sitting three rows behind you on the other side of the bus. Ditto, forever. Ditto, for all circumstances. I am hormonally unbalanced enough to break one day and make you eat it. I believe that battery acid is very bad for you

Item Four (added 14 October)
Having worked out an approximate arrival/departure schedule for your bus, it is very useful if the driver has an approximate idea of the route he (because it normally is a he) is supposed to take. As you can see, this is a problem that specifically affects people who take the bus, rather than train or tram commuters. That is because trains and trams travel along tracks, which do not usually encourage independent directional decisions from the driver. While this may not be very empowering, at least you know you'll be taken where you're supposed to go

Item Three (added 14 October 2004)
You might think that having lived in Ireland my whole life, I would be accustomed to the rather spurious correlation between timetables and the actual arrival/departure time of the [insert chosen mode of public transport here]. You would be wrong. Though there has been some headway made in this regard recently, there is still vast room for improvement (as immortalised by the "We're not there yet, but we're getting there" ad campaign). While I find it irritating enough when the [mode of transport] is late, it really pisses me off when the bloody thing is early. Grrr

Item Two (added 13 October 2004)
The selfish bitch that I sat beside on the bus this morning. I hope that her bag was comfortable on its own seat. What the hell was she carrying in there? Live organs for transplant???

Item One (added 11 October 2004)
People who prop their knees up on the back of the seat in front of them. It really hurts the person in front's back